Let’s talk about decision making in a pregnancy. Now, all of this is said with the understanding that if you have mental or physical issues you’ve already discussed decision making responsibilities with your partner and your team, and so that set of circumstances won’t be touched on. It’s just too varied and too personal. The same goes for a D/s dynamic.
BUT, outside of those circumstances, there’s just one person who gets to make the decisions in pregnancy, labor and birth – the pregnant person!
You should take into consideration the expertise of your care team and the opinions of your partner(s) if you have them, but ultimately all the power lies with you. While this is a big responsibility, don’t stress yourself out! You’re not alone and with a doula at your side you’ll be well informed. One of the main things I do with a client in the prenatal meetings is to talk about your options. I have a whole Birth Blueprint that talks about your choices for pain relief, where you'd like to birth, what happens in case of emergency, and more. All of this information is presented with as little bias as I can manage and with evidence from reputable sources to back it up so you can make a truly informed decision and give consent for the things you’re comfortable with.
With this blueprint I can also help remind you in the moment of what you wanted, regardless of what anyone else says. If you told me you absolutely did not want an epidural then I’m going to support you with position changes, movement, and distraction techniques to help you obtain that goal. If your partner(s) decide to open their mouth in anything but encouragement I will firmly remind them that you’re busy having a baby, and if they’re not going to help then keep silent. If your care team starts urging a C-section because you’ve been “stuck” at a certain dilation for “too long”, I’ll whisper to you that you can say no and we can try other things first, that there’s no risk to your health or baby’s at this time.
I can’t make choices for you, I can’t be your voice, but I am the megaphone to make sure you are heard. Your body, your choice, in all things.